LITTLE ISLAND INTRODUCES ANIMAL MILK

New Zealand’s most beloved plant-based milk and ice cream business is set to pivot again and do what’s right for the good of the nation.

In addition to its current range, Little Island is preparing to launch a range of animal-based milks blended with its popular coconut drinking milk. With dairy in decline in most major markets, the help from a company like Little Island will be well received. “We just feel sorry for the poor guys to be honest,” said co-founder James Crow.

The Dairy Farmers of America, an organisation that represents roughly 30 percent of milk producers in the U.S., revealed this month that its total sales in 2018 had dropped by roughly $1.1 billion dollars compared to the previous year.

“If New Zealand is going to keep doing exactly what it’s always done, we’re going to have to milk every damn animal in sight,” added Crow.

With so many successful entrepreneurs using their exit payouts to start companies milking all sorts of animals, Little Island is in great company as it jumps on the bandwagon with its innovative new range of animal based milks.

The first and most obvious opportunity for Little Island was lying sleepily on the lounge floor. Crow retells the ah-ha moment: “I was reading the paper one Sunday, just looking at our cat, and as she rolled over I noticed her stomach was covered in nipples.”

A bit of Googling later and Crow realised these nipples created milk just like a cow and the rest, as they say, is history. From there, the company has pushed into more value added milks, including possum (to turn this national pest into an asset), and even kiwi milk, which is proving tricky, but Crow seems undeterred.

“Loads of scientists have told us that kiwi literally have no nipples, but to that we say ‘what if Sir Edmund Hilary had said ‘that’s a bit too high to climb today’? We will persevere with these shy national icons in the name of innovation.”

Little Island’s range will not only feature some famous New Zealand animals but also one of the world’s tallest. “We’ve be working on a collab with zoos for our new giraffe milk, which is a limited batch, but if it proves popular we’ll probably just plonk a few more on a lifestyle block near Matakana and ramp things up a notch,” said Crow.

Since the announcement that Little Island will be producing animal milks, the support from science and innovation grants has been overwhelming, reinforcing New Zealand’s reputation for leading the world back to how things have always been.

The range is likely to hit the shelves in coming weeks and will be found alongside the other animal milks.